“Just the other day I received a card from a college friend’s mother-in-law in Ireland who wanted to let me know that she and all of her friends prayed for me regularly,” Monin said. “It’s nice to feel that people care about you and are thinking of you.”
In terms of comfort items, warm (but stylish) jackets, blankets and — for kids — stuffed animals, are popular gifts. Socks are also a great choice.
“Nice socks are not only good for at home but also when you’re getting treatment,” said Ed, a patient who went through proton therapy for his lung cancer. “You are always wearing warm socks when all you have on is a gown in those cold treatment rooms.”
“The absolute best gifts were from a friend who had gone through breast cancer treatment the year before,” Monin said. “She sent me a whole chemo care package with ginger candy and special mouthwash and a hat to cover my bald spot. She sent her kids’ favorite books for me to read with my children.”
Several patients also mentioned they enjoyed getting books, especially uplifting, light reading material, including magazines which help patients take their mind off cancer.
Ed also mentioned that books relating to a person’s hobby can be a good distraction.
“Books are number one,” Kaitlyn said. “Without fail, books kept Ava chill and happy.”
Gifts to avoid
Unwelcome gifts included primarily scented items: bath bombs, essential oils, even strong-smelling lotions and candles.
Though the sentiment is lovely, strong smells can make cancer patients, especially those undergoing chemotherapy or radiation, nauseated. Radiation also can make skin too sensitive for non-clinical creams or bath materials.
In addition, gifts that require any kind of work, even such innocuous things as flowers — which require water changes — are best avoided.
“The gifts I appreciated the least were things like books about how to eat for cancer or a gratitude journal,” Monin said. “It took a while before I was in a place to feel grateful for anything and I didn’t tell my children my brain tumor was cancer, so I didn’t want books about cancer laying around for them to see.”
One more piece of advice?
Don’t feel upset if the cancer patient in your life doesn’t get back to you. Treatment is often a full-time job. Showing that you care — through time, outreach or gifts — is very much appreciated by the patient, even if they don’t respond right away.
“I did a terrible job of sending thank you notes for all the amazing, thoughtful, wonderful gifts sent to me,” Monin said. “I wish I had been in a better emotional and mental state to send lovely cards of gratitude to everyone, but I just wasn’t.”